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| I got very very drunk the other night. I really don't remember alot of the night but I woke up with a black eye! Apparently I walked into something. I have got my gym induction tomorrow, and after that I can use the gym and classes as much as I want :) I live 5 minutes from the gym so i'm hoping I will be there most days :) I just had a salad, and have had 2 glasses of orange juice today. Despite having a black eyeand having thoroughly embarassed myself i'm alright. Still house hunting with my flat mates; it's not going so great and it's now getting mega stressful! Nx 
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| I finished my exams!! Finally! The past few weeks have been overwhelmingly stressful and I feel like i've had to put alot of my life on hold. I tried to keep control of my intake but I did have a few slips - as a result i've maintained. I actually have free time now, so instead of sitting revising in the library I am going to get active - I am finalizing my gym membership tomorrow and I intend to use it. I am so excited to get back to exercise. Also, my shelf on the fridge is looking nice and healthy now. It is the end of exams for all of my friends too, which means that there will be celebrations. Celebrations involving lots of food and lots of alcohol. I really don't know how strong I will be, when I drink I tend to get quite relaxed and end up eating... Idk. My friend from Canada is coming back to England for a couple of weeks so I will see her soon which is going to be awesome <3 I just hope she doesn't see how fat i've gotten since she's been gone. I hope everyone is having a lovely January. Nx 
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| Literally can't be doing with other people at the moment. I typed a whole post and then there was a fire alarm so I had to exit without saving. FFS. I have a flatmate who is depressed or at least this is what she keeps telling us. And she probably is moderately depressed. But what irritates me is that she keeps saying that her therapist wants to section her...Well. I have been sectioned, and I know how bad things have to be for them to resort to it. Therapists try their best to treat you in the community, they move to more frequent appointments, day outpatient care before they decide after all of their efforts that you are in imminent danger and force you into hospital. Basically you don't get sectioned on a whim. And my flatmate gets dressed up and comes to town and dances and sings and writes assignments and gets out of bed (apart from on a few odd days) and I find it really difficult to believe that she would be sectioned soon... That is possibly the most horrible judgemental thing i've ever thought/said about someone other than myself. But I can't stop thinking it. I don't have any reason not to believe her apart from the fact that I have experience. I don't know what to do. Also my friends and I are meant to be finding a house together but no one can agree and some of the girls are being far too idealistic and not seeing that actually there aren't loads of houses to choose from and we don't have all the time in the world either. Basically i'm quite angry today! Any advice, comments etc would be greatly appreciated. Nx 
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| I sat my first uni exam this morning. On a total of 2 hours sleep. And it was horrible! But no time to dwell, on to the next... I am trying not to feel sad, and I think it's working a little bit. Problem is that the good things in my life aren't enough to keep me feeling positive. Back when I was majorly depressed my parents kept saying to me that I was ungrateful, that there were so many good things in my life that there was no reason to be depressed. But that really isn't the point. I wasn't depressed because I didn't know how good my life was, I felt terrible because I just didn't care - and I knew I should feel differently. It's kind of like that now. The things that should make me really really happy just don't at the moment. And that is a whole lot of darkness that I just can't share with the people around me at uni! Hope everyone's ok. Nx 
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| Finally back at uni. I thought I would be more excited than this actually, but I am the first one back so there are no friends to talk to yet. And I have suddenly become aware of the fact that I have exams to pass. I also have an essay to finish by Monday, but i'm really overwhelmed by moving back in at the moment, so it will have to wait until tomorrow. I weighed myself this morning and it was pretty much what I expected. 143lbs. I'm obviously not happy with that, but at least I can set some goals now. Also, now that i'm back at uni, I can control what sits in my fridge, so no mindless snacking or binging (I hope). Hope everyone is ok? Nx 
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